life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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