maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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