Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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