are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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