I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
