What tipped you off? The sombrero?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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