Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
