umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
