I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
