But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
