it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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