I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
