He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
