i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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