told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
