I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it's not cheating when I paid for it
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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