Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
