Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize