worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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