can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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