How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
