maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
