Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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