we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
