too bad you live with your parents still
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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