So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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