Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.