I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Not as such, no.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.