Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?

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(402): View more from Nebraska

my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.

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(281): View more from Texas

Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.

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(949): View more from California

The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(973): View more from New Jersey

the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.

(1-507): View more from Minnesota

We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.

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(734): View more from Michigan

You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Happy you have kids and I don't day!

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(631): View more from New York

We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa

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