Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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