My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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