I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize