My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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