did you get engaged???
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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