His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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