4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
