There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
