I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
