I am puke
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
