haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize