Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
