Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
