I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize