dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
