I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
