Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
