That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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