Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
