my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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