if you like me you must not know who I am
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
