You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
