How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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