what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.