Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
smell my finger.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
