i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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