I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
