I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
