fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
