I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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