Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
