Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
tell me about the eggs
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