And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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