i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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