I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
